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Tuesday, January 04, 2011



I hope you send that card.


Oh yes, do! Do send it. Really, I think you should. I know it's an easy thing for me to say because our adoption is more open than most and so it KILLS me from all sides for there to be NO contact (actually, we are having extremely similar issues to THIS with bio dad and his kids and that kills me too for them and for Ava). I think a card especially can be a great thing....a "you can can get ahold of me if you want" kind of opening. You're right....it's a tough age and she could be (or might not be) questioning things. But if she's NOT questioning, it'll be a nice card and a reminder that you care. If she IS questioning, it could be just what she needs.


Oh, and I want to add a PS....

I say don't even think about her adoptive parents and what they'll think. She's old enough to mostly leave them out of the equation if it's simple things like this. If they didn't want to deal with things as simple as a CARD on a BIRTHDAY....they shouldn't have adopted, or probably even HAD kids. So screw that part in case you're thinking of it at all.


Honestly, I really don't think that you should. At this age, what she needs is her mother...and giving birth to her alone doesn't make you that person. You closed that door, whatever reasons and corners you were trapped into, you still did- and it will cause nothing but emotional harm to her to reopen it for your own selfishness and desire to be 'needed'. You're not.


Your manners are atrocious, Jessie.

And I don't think it's much of a stretch to think that a girl in the throes of puberty might be curious about when her period might come, or how her body might change.


Oh, my...Jessie sounds like either a threatened adoptress or a foggy adoptee.

Guess what- I would have KILLED to have had contact with my first mother. And even at the age of 45, I STILL need my Mother. Not my adoptive mother, my FIRST Mother.

I say send it. Whether or not her adopters give it to her is another story. Send it via registered mail if you can. That way you will have proof that you at least tried.


I am an adoptive parent and I hope you send it. I really value the contact that we have with certain members of our children's first family.


I hope you send the card.

Glad to see you back here!



Man, I have an uncanny knack for knowing when people start blogging again. You just popped into my mind, I have not checked here for ages. And - thereyougo.

Glad to see you back. You are a REALLY good writer and have so much to say. Please do keep writing, and if you write somewhere other than here, link a bitch, willya?


Send it. I am an adoptive mother who doesn't have contact with birth family as they don't want it. I want my daughter to known her other mother and where she came from and really I want her to know that there are so many people who love her so much. How can that be wrong?

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