5ive things for an Ending

1. A Jane Austen book. I've had my qualms with Jane Austen and I've also loved her like a hero. Thus, in these emotional times, having an Austen book is like curling up with a teddy bear and pulling a fluffy blanket over my head. I love her long sentences. From her I've learned the art of the comma.

This time, a hardback copy of Sense and Sensibility inexplicably came my way. It's never been one of my favorites and I haven't read it since high school. But I'm finding that on this reading I identify much more with the archetype of Restrained Elinor than the Passionate Marianne. Margaret, poor thing, is still an idiot. I don't think Jane was very fond of children.

2. A silly movie. Naomi happened to come across Stick It today. I love gymnastics and for a long moment in my adolescent my most fervent dream was to be a gymnast (I was impeded by a weird lack of the right kind of upper body strength and a leftover asymmetry in my legs from hip dysplasia. I think. It certainly wasn't from lack of practicing, because I had Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth and the soundtrack for the 1988 Olympics on constant play for my routines in the living room. I could bend my back like Kristie Phillips. No joke.) So I've been watching Stick It, and I love it. And it has absolutely no Associations.

3. Wine. Specifically, Hardy's Shiraz in a box. Because if you're gonna drink le crap, it should at least be environmentally friendly and cheap.

4. The ears of others. Rachael and Jul and Jo. Thank heaven for girlfriends. They've all heard my angst and joy during the (lovely, blissful, healing) eight months of this relationship, and when it ended, they all knew exactly why. So there was no explaining to do when I was laughing and crying at the same time. (To be honest, there is significantly more crying than laughing at this stage.)

5. A secure knowledge of how I am and what I can give. I still know that I am not cut out for long term monogamy. Or long term...anything. I am too distracted, too impulsive, and especially now after having been married, I have too many avenues to explore. I love him, I loved being with him, but I was asking him to put up with far too much of my shit. I can't help but give shit in this baggage strewn post-divorce landscape. A few years hence and things might have been different.

Comments

[Casey]

Hey. Hope you're okay.

[Jo]

Aw, heck.

For le crap, Hardy's is pretty le decent.

[Jo]

Aw, heck.

For le crap, Hardy's is pretty le decent.

[mariah]

Have you read Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler?

What a hoot!
"Its easy listening to this funny, clever story about Courtney Stone, a woman with only her Jane Austen novels to keep her company as she wallows over a broken engagement--until she wakes up in the nineteenth century in the body of Jane Mansfield, an English woman looking for a husband. Courtneys sarcastic nature is brought to life by Orlagh Cassidy, who is spot-on in her portrayal of the confusion and detached amusement Courtney feels in the body of someone living nearly 200 years ago. Likewise, Cassidy expertly distinguishes the other characters, immersing listeners in the time period while still maintaining the perspective of her 21st-century character. Though its difficult to hear this wonderful production come to a close, this time-bending story ends just as it should." amazon.com

[Wasabi]

I saw your facebook status update and I'm sorry. Hope you're doing ok. :-(

[Wasabi]

Oh and in one more parallel between us I adore Jane Austen. The new Pride and Prejudice was on Oxygen while I sat wasting last weekend in a hotel room waiting for a custody hearing (woot!) and it was such a balm to me.

[Jennifer (Et Tu?)]

"Because if you're gonna drink le crap, it should at least be environmentally friendly and cheap."

I like to think of myself as a connoisseur of boxed wine (because that's better than saying "The fact that I'm broke is not going to stop me from drinking, dammit!"), and I highly recommend Killer Juice Cabernet. It's very good.

I'm sorry to hear that there are more tears than laughter in this phase of your life. I hope you're doing OK -- sincerely. I know I'm just some random person on the internet but, as I've said before, I've been so touched by your writing. I really hope that you're doing well, or will be soon.