Go read Lilian's thoughts on feminism and motherhood. A quote:
"Has feminism summarily rejected motherhood? What are we to do, if, like Kateri argues, so many deep set beliefs "keep us from looking at the state of motherhood in the culture?" and not only that, but stigmatize young mothers to the point that they simply dismiss motherhood and suffer lifelong consequences..."
Hey, thanks for the shout out!! ;)
Posted by: Lilian | Thursday, February 28, 2008 at 09:22 AM
I don't know why motherhood is for older people in the US today. Too much emphasis on the superficial...people's goals are all screwed up nowadays, imo. What's WRONG with wanting to be a mother as your primary goal? Or wanting that young? I've wanted to be a mom since I was a kid myself.
As a tangent, I'll say that I encounter this stigma in a whole other way. When, at 21, my husband and I couldn't get pregnant, it wasn't "I'm sorry" mostly, it was "enjoy it while you're young, you don't want a baby anyway." or "why the rush? You're so young!" And now, I get looks with the two of them. The other day at the doctor a male nurse actually asked "don't you know how to turn that machine off?"
I was like..well...actually, I don't know how to turn it ON. :)
Posted by: jesspond | Thursday, February 28, 2008 at 12:12 PM
I think a lot of the emphasis on delaying childbearing has to do with the notion of parenthood as a class priviledge -- you aren't supposed to do it unless you have acumulated a certain amount of money, education, and material goods, and adequate acumulation is taking a longer and longer time for many of us these days. Have children before this (arbitrary) point, and you're an irresponsible person whose children will inevitably suffer and/or become delinquent (perhaps even Communists! Oh wait, the Cold War is over -- they'll become Terrorists instead). Possibly your illegitimate family will even require public assistance, which everyone knows is a tool of Satan designed to destroy this great nation from the inside out.
Yawn.
Social eugenics, anyone? Now that we're not supposed to believe in things like "bad genes" anymore, I feel like we're substituting economics and basing our perception of good parenting on measurables like being able to afford private school. No offense meant to private school itself - it's just a handy marker, esp. when our country seems determined to ignore the need for public-school revitalization. Perhaps basing funding in something other than property taxes would be a good place to start?
Posted by: Lula | Thursday, February 28, 2008 at 02:08 PM
Excellent comment, Lula! You guys (or maybe I should say you girls?) are so articulated that don't even know what to say (either in my own comment section or here), except that I agree.
Posted by: Lilian | Thursday, February 28, 2008 at 07:15 PM