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Sunday, January 08, 2006



Wow. I really am speechless after that post.

The world of birthmotherhood IS thankless. I am not a birthmother who has given their child up for adoption, but I can see that. The adoptive parents say, "Thanks, see you later!" and drive off.

But then again, how DO you thank someone adequately for giving the gift of a child to you? I don't think there is enough thanks in the world.



wow, E is just 6 weeks older than the Kiddo. i remember thinking many of the same things, the "I" statements. you just don't ever know, and i thought i was uber prepared.

there was no smiling through tears for me. it was more "what the hell just happened"?


As a hopeful adoptive parent it kills me to read this post. It kills me that your relationship didn't work out with E's parents.

It leaves me feeling sad and confused. Confused because there must be some birthfamilies where adoption really is what they want and what is best for them. Sad because I'm sad for your situation and sad because for me, becoming a mommy won't happen unless someone decides we should be parents to their child.


Your words continue to be fearlessly self-searching.

Lisa V

I really wish you were sharing E's life. I just can't imagine an adoptive family not honoring their committments to their children's birth families.

I am sorry for your grief too Kateri. I wish their was something that we could do to help you out.


wow kate. you always make me think so much. i'm just thinking and thinking, and trying to articulate something, but it never seems quite right -- maybe i'll try on my blog soon. voices like yours are so so important. thank you for being brave. and i'm very sorry for your loss.



How completely heart-wrenching... my soul just aches as I think of what you've been through... and of course... it also makes me think of the anguish my own birthmother endured.

Thanks for being so incredibly honest and open, Kateri.


I can relate and relive so much of what you say. Led to believe you were doing the right thing and that you would go on and make a life for yourself. That you would both benefit from this, she would have a great life and you would go on and conquer the world. Nobody told me that I would be carrying a heavy stone of grief in my throat while trying to conquer the world. Beautiful post.


Oh, Kateri. My heart aches for you. I'm so so sorry you have this weight on you.



I could never have imagined the depth of the emotions involved. You really need to give speeches, write books--get this out there.

Happy Birthday to E. You made that possible.

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