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Sunday, October 16, 2005


Beanie Baby

Oh god, what a terrible choice.

I can't even begin to think of what else to say that wouldn't be completely assvice. I'm thinking of you.


I wish you peace with the decisions you're wrestling with. Be true to yourself, too. E needs you just as much as she needs them, IMNSHO.

I just wanted to point out that N is the cutest purple haired witch I have ever laid eyes on.


You are so strong it blows my mind. I hope so much that you experience future happiness with E.


I hope you'll be able to keep visiting E. She needs you in her life. It's sad that Naomi is not welcome to be a part of that life now, but E. will know her as an adult, if not sooner. But it would be so awful for her to lose contact with you and Josh too.

You're very strong, and you and Josh are so lucky to have each other, and she and Naomi to have you guys.


First, the seasonal look of the blog is great, particularly Naomi's picture!!!
I don't know what to say either. Part of me leans toward continuing for E.'s sake, but then, I totally agree that if you're honest with yourself and refuse to play by their rules it'll be better for your sanity (and, as a result, to your family, which is really important considering you're about to have a baby). Yes, you're very strong, I admire you for that. I'll be thinking of you, as always...


It's a difficult choice to make and I can see both positions. If you do continue seeing E then it's going to be very hard to hide the fact that you have other kids, especially when the new baby arrives.

Perhaps you could tell the parents that you won't bring the subject up but that if E ever asks you if you have other kids then you will tell her the truth because you're not prepared to lie to her face.

Whatever you decide you are one brave and wonderful mother.


Kateri... wow... what a horrible horrible decision for you to have to make at all. I'm so incredibly sorry it's come to this... at least for now.

You know I'll continue to keep both you and E in my thoughts... in light of my own history, your story is one that I hold very close to my heart...


I think that you are strong and smart and that whatever decision you ultimately make that it will be the right one. I know that this is not something you choose to do lightly and I wish for peace as you move to the next phase in your adoption story. I hope and pray that E gets the opportunity to meet your wonderful family in its entierty. Meanwhile, take care of yourself!!!!!!!!!


Reading more entries I see more similarities between our experiences as I am also now married to the birthfather of my daughter and we have two girls together. When I first wrote to the adoptive mother about the birth of our first child I was a bit surprised when she responded some time later that she was waiting to decide when to tell our daughter of our marriage let alone the birth of her full sister. In some ways it did hurt me and sort of shock me that here I was corresponding with her all these years and assuming that much of what I shared with her was being passed on to my children. Suddenly I wondered what if anything they knew about me. Did they know I wrote, did they know I kept up with their lives? And the feeling of powerlessness to have any control over whether she knew that she has sisters. Ugh.

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