Today has been the weirdest day. I feel like I’m wearing an astral lighting rod on my head.
It's long. It involves police and fire trucks, styrofoam and the ER. But we're all okay :)
After a morning of missed communications and shifting plans, I went to lunch (over an hour after I’d planned, BTW) with Kristen. After lunch, I put Naomi in her carseat. I threw the car keys on to the front set after unlocking the doors, like I always do. Something must have hit the lock button on the way down, because when I shut Naomi’s door the whole car was locked. I screamed and freaked for a minute, and then called 911. It took almost ten minutes for the police and fire truck to show up (yes, both came). During the time, Naomi was shockingly calm in the car. She only cried a little, but mostly she was content to play the “game” we invented, you know, the one where we lock her in the car and then make faces at her.
In the middle of all this, I’m playing phone tag with a new mom who’s trying to make a sling appointment with me. I keep missing her calls because I’m 1. trying to answer the door, get out of the house in time to meet Kristen, and quell the super-tantrum that’s coming on, and 2. giving my name and address to one of the six firemen who came to my rescue. The third time she called I was in line at Old Navy buying cheap Halloween t-shirts for a party I’m going to Saturday. Finally we nail down an appointment for Tuesday at 3.
I got home at 3:01, just in time for the 3:00 playgroup I’m hosting. Naomi finally decided to give in and take the nap she’s been resisting all day. I sit on the couch and cool my heels with my knitting until 4:30 when someone finally decides to show up for playgroup. I knew it was going to be a low turnout, so this wasn’t a surprise. I had time to clean the toilet and slice the veggies before anyone showed up, which was nice. In my well laid plan, I would have gotten home from lunch around 1:30, put the girl down for her nap and scrubbed the bathroom, sliced the veggies and washed my hair (yikes!) before 3:00, when Naomi would wake up refreshed and ready for socialilzing.
My friend Erica and her son Ethan were our only playgroupers today. For most of the time, Ethan had Naomi’s toys to himself. I ate most of the pumpkin bread and spice cookies myself. Twenty minutes after Erica got there, ANOTHER person called to schedule a sling lesson! She lives about 20 minutes away by car, so I quote her a price that feels recklessly high. Erica, who’s listening in, says “you are WAY to cheap. Raise your prices girl!”
At 5:00 I decide that Naomi’s slept long enough and if I want to get to bed beofre 1 AM I have to go wake her. I go into the room and what do I find?! My insane, anti-social cat is curled up to Naomi purring like a chainsaw!!! Naomi is blissfully asleep with her fingers on the cat’s fur. I almost don’t wake her, but then I remember how late I’ll be up if I don’t, so I break the spell.
Things normalize for awhile. Naomi and Ethan play together, Josh comes home, my mom comes over, Josh and I go out for a run, my mom leaves. Josh and Naomi retire upstairs to watch a movie while I do some more knitting. Around 10:30, when I’m starting to salivate in anticiaption of another shot of John Stewart at 11, Josh comes downstairs and says there’s something wrong with Naomi’s nose. She was saying it hurt, and she would let him touch it. He thought she might be getting a cold. I knew immediately that we’d reached an important milestone in the life of any parent: The First Time Your Kid Sticks Something Up Her Nose.
From our best guess, it was styrofoam from the package she got yesterday, which I had cleaned up with the utmost care because I know how much she loves styrofoam. (she sat on the floor of Target the other day for almost a full half hour playing with a few pieces of styrofoam while I wandered around in a Target coma nearby, my cart slowly filling with stuff I didn’t need but felt compelled to buy). We tried the bulb syringe, and then we tried the bendly plastic hand of a little doll. I was very nervous…I kept picturing Josh wedging the thing up into her brain cavity, where it would leach into her neurons and make her stupid. I called the pediatrian. They don’t check their non-critical emergency line after 8 PM. I wasn’t about get my doctor out of bed for an emergency page that turned out to be a toddler orifice incident, so we got her ready to go to the emergency room. We decided to take her to the crappy hospital next door rather than walk eight blocks to the nice hospital. Lazy parents.
Frazzled, tired parents that we are, we didn’t bring any toys, food or water. There was an older man in the waiting room with us, and Naomi insisted on engaging him in play. He didn’t seems to mind, but Josh minded. He’s a little unnerved by her affinity for old men. On TV there was bin Laden tape coverage punctuated by attack ads from every side. Yay for living in a swing state! We waited an hour to be called back. The triage nurse told me that they didn’t admit pediatrics partients to the hospital, but since her case wasn’t serious they would see her in the ER anyway. Thanks. You could have told me an hour ago so we could have gone eight blocks to the hospital that doesn’t smell like urine.
Finally, we are shown to an exam area, were we are told that they are swamped and the doctor may not be in for “a good while”. Since “not long at all!” turned out to be an hour, we were afraid of what “a good while” really meant. Remember, no food, no water, no toys. Only biohazard constainers and electrical outlets painted bright red.
Then Naomi sneezed.
I noticed a slimy white ball about the size of a lima bean on her shirt, and I felt the relief in my bones. Practically skipping, I took the slimy thing which bore some resemblance to styrofoam to the traige nurse, and she took it to the doctor. Josh and I thought this was very funny, she made a serious face and said “I must show this to the docotr” like it was a specimen in a petri dish, instead of a balled up snot covered piece of styrofoam. But Josh and I would have laughed at almost anything at that point.
We got home around midnight. I’m glad this day, while full of adventure, is over. I’m going to bed.
Oh, and I’m ovulating (I think). Could that have anything to do with it? Is this going to happen to me every month?