"No, I'm not mad at you, I'm just overwhelmed"

This is one of those times when all the shit seems to have hit the fan at the same time, specifically in the form of freak illnesses and dental emergencies and an enormous change in my lifestyle.

I had a computer of my own for a blessed 24 hours before it started acting up again. Now it works but I can't open up a browser. Phooey.

My brother is currently in the hospital being treated for some horrible strain of pneumonia. If you are the praying type, please pray for him today because he's having a procedure to drain his lungs of the sadistic fluid that's making him so miserable. He'll be under anesthesia for the procedure and in ICU afterwards. Mortality, I bid you a reluctant hello.

Both my girls have bad, bad teeth in need of immediate attention. Naomi had an abscess and had a baby molar pulled last week. The only upside is that with that experience as a teaching tool, it is no trouble to get her to brush her teeth anymore. And I don't even want to tell you how bad Miriam's teeth are. Jesus gay, it's amazing she can eat at all.

On top of all that, my boyfriend Damon is moving in this week. His lease ended suddenly and it seemed the most obvious, logical thing to do. So as of May 1 I will officially be living with another adult. I just pray I won't ruin it by being, well, me.

All of this on top of the normal stresses, it has made me depressed. I want to turn off my phone and pull my blanket over my head. And I know people are tested far beyond all this but I've had enough. I want life to stop so I can catch my breath. If there are any of you left reading, could you please leave me stories about the shit hitting the fan and how you made it through? I don't care how trivial or how deep, just give me something to read, something to connect to, or even just a reason to check my email.

Comments

[M]

My brother got really really sick with a mystery illness and the doctors thought he might die. The stress caused me to fail a class.

It turned out to be relatively minor - his gallbladder, which no one had checked, because that's generally not a problem for a 20-something guy. And i made up the class the next year and passed with an A.

I really hope things get less overwhelming for you soon - you've taken such positive steps to improve your life and the life of your girls - they WILL pay off.

[Celeste]

We fled the school district in July and moved in to a rental, thinking it would just be SO easy to get the place fixed up and on the market. The economy began its tank, it became clear we had let a lot of things go for a long time on the house, Hurricane Ike remnants blew down a major tree in September, insurance wouldn't cover it, the tree did damage at the neighbor's and she didn't want to make a claim and suggested we fix it or she'd sue. It was an amazing setback in time. We tried to hurry up and stain the exterior ourselves to help with curb appeal but my dad died suddenly and we lost the last week of warm fall weather. We had a horrible December of TWO expensive furnace fixes but luckily no frozen pipes(no idea how the checks didn't bounce, truly!) and pouring money and time into the house and fighting over how much to even do to it in this economy. We got a sort of break in February when a freak windstorm did more roof damage than we already had from an old roof, and insurance is buying us a new roof. Of course the universe smelled that we had cash and caused hubby's 103 yr old grandfather to finally die, which meant a flurry of expenses to travel out there and be the executor. Hint: it means fronting lawyer fees and they ain't cheap. We used the roof money for everything and are just delaying the repairs until we get reimbursed in the next month or so. Have we lost the chance to list a lake house in spring? Yes. Will it still be worth it to list in the summer or fall? Nobody knows. However the house is slowly improving, we can still afford the mortgage on it because we both have stable jobs (though we do have a new pay cut to contend with) and somehow we haven't just given up. I have shifted my idea of what a happy ending means, and am learning to settle for a lot less. But I took a risk and got a jazzy short haircut and some new clothes to get out of my fat-girl funk, and that is kind of huge if you know me and my feeling that my looks are the last thing money should be spent on.

Sometimes life is just sucky and I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate. Here's hoping things settle down for you soon!

[JessPond]

First, I'm so sorry about all of it. I hope that the shiny new adult in the house can help with some of the insanity. And added willingness to brush teeth, too. That might help. And you know, really. This too shall pass.

Stories, stories.....

I'm not sure I have any good ones of myself...I'm lame and young and all I've been through is spending an OBSCENE amount of money (no, really, it's embarassing to admit how much) and time to get a couple of kids.

However, I do have a few I can share from friends/family/etc.

A family in the community was on vacation in MI and their teenage daughter (a friend of mine) was driving their van and wrecked it. Her mother was badly injured, her brother and she were killed, her mother's mom was killed, and her mother's aunt was killed. This was in, oh, 2001, I believe. And the mother and father have started a new life and enjoying each other....not in a "oooh everything is fine" way of course, but in a life is still worth living way.

I have a friend right now who had a rough pregnancy with her twin boys, and has many health problems (super severe endo) herself, and then one of her sons has many health problems...hydrocephalus, eating issues (tube fed), weight issues, etc. Her mother has liver failure and her brother tried to donate part of his yesterday and after the procedure was underway. Today they tried to put in a shunt to buy her more time and it didn't work and now she also has kidney failure. And....they're still making do. Because...you know...what else is there to do?

And you'll be fine, too, and it'll pass. Really. I'll say a prayer for you guys. Keep on doing what you're doing. :)

[Perfectly Disgraceful]

Oh, honey, that's a lot. Take everything in babysteps right now, do a lot of counting to ten and worrying about things tomorrow.

My brother and I have crappy teeth, mine are full of fillings, he had to get crowns when he was a toddler. It sucks, but we're fine now. And I floss my teeth religiously. My only advice is that if the dentist is making you at all uneasy, get another one, don't put up with any shit.

Get as much sleep as you can right now, get out in the sunshine whenever you can, expose some of that pretty white skin to a little vitamin D, but don't get burned. Do some bare minimum parenting, just make sure they're getting fed. Do whatever you can to pull through.

I'll thinking good thoughts for your brother.

[Ann]

I'm gonna go home and brush my kids' teeth. Maybe the "play" brushing doesn't cut it after all, huh? I don't remember having to get MY teeth brushed when I was under 2 years old, but everybody says it's important...

Good thoughts for your brother - if it's any consolation, the fluid being removed will almost certainly result in him feeling a lot better, as soon as he wakes up... but you aren't going to feel better until that happens.

I will try to post back with a story about shit hitting the fan. It certainly has, many times, but all the instances I can think of right now are too depressing to recount. And embarrassing, too.

Right now, I gotta run home and think about what to feed the family... good luck, hang in there!

[Superla]

Ah, man. I'm sorry, Kateri.

Shit hitting the fan story: Hmm. Well a few years ago, I was in a semi-confrontation with the office manager at my old job. The thing was, it was only a semi-confrontation because much of the shit was only happening in my head. But that didn't stop me from sending a scathing email to her about being a gossipy bitch who needed to stop spying on people. Did not go over well. She was not amused and called me in for a little conference with a couple other coworkers. Soon after, I ended up in the psych hospital, which I do NOT recommend.

However, I'm pretty frickin sure that even though I was nearly out of my mind, I still came out the winner in that bullshit review conference. Yes. Even batshit, I can still take a crappy pseudo-authority figure down a peg. Let me know if you ever need my services.

As for your own shit storm? Ride it out, baby. Hang on tight, and ride it out. And call if you need to talk.

[Pronoia]

Well, a few years back, only three months after my partner was diagnosed with bipolar, we both switched careers, moved, and temporarily stayed with her best friend who was in the midst of getting a divorce.

I credit Buffy with helping us keep body and soul together. We started with season one (all three of us!) and just worked our way through. It gave us some structure, something to do at night after we ate dinner but before bed, and she was just so kick-ass.

[Jo-Ann]

Ok I have 2

1. In the course of 1 year. I got engaged, went back to college, quit smoking, got married, graduated college, husband started his first career job, bought a house, and my husbands best friend from 3rd grade till aduldhood (his male soulmate) went missing and was found dead. We both survived although is was a rough year.

2. My husband was unemployed from the time I was 6 weeks pregnant till the time the baby was 8 months old. We also bought and sold a house exactly 13 days before the baby was born. After the unemployment ran out we got about 2 months from loosing the house.........

Good Luck I hope my stories helped!!

[Sarah]

8 years ago, my husband's mother had cancer. She had had a bout, seemed better, but she wasn't. She lived about 2 hours away. Lots of messy family drama. Hours in the car. Long hospital stays. That fall, the company I worked for was being bought out, so work was in flux. And my husband wanted to go to grad school, so we had been kicking around moving back to our college town.

December, his mom rapidly declines and dies. We conceive a baby that day, which freaked me out as we had been waiting and she wanted us to have babies.

The doctor we saw to double check the pregnancy test tells us it is so early (seriously 3 weeks), we have an 80% miscarriage rate. No idea where he pulled that number from, but the spector of miscarriage hung over us for 3-4 months.

I cancel Christmas. And had a hard time making myself get back into celebrating even the next year.

A former boss had offered me a job at a new company. But we had decided to move near my parents now that we had the baby coming. I took the new job as a temporary measure. So new job weirdness and boring-ness.

My husband started job hunting in our hometown. We started house shopping. We found a house we liked. We had horrendous negotiations. We never would have bought that house if I hadn't been pregnant. We bought the house in April, right before I began showing. My husband had still not found a job.

Around May, my husband gets a job offer. We're delighted. We move on Memorial Day. And my husband calls his new job. And then never call him back. He calls. He calls. And they don't call.

We wrack up credit card debt deciding we should use his time off to fix up the house.

My husband begs a job out a company that had he had refused earlier. Less pay. Things are tight. The baby comes 2 weeks early, unexpectedly breech, c-section.

OK, this may not be shitty enough to cheer you. I do have the benefit of hindsight - it all pretty much worked out. But it was uncertain and scary and at times we did things that were incredibly stupid. The baby was fine - my OB was an idiot. My husband's job was boring and he stayed underpaid, but he could do his masters schoolwork at work, so that turned out OK. We still have too much credit card debt.

Best wishes!