The Heat

Believe it or not, I've actually been posting to this blog. I've been writing posts so mind numbingly boring that the software is nixing them before they ever see publishing status. For example, I just wrote several hundred words about why I haven't tunred on the central AC yet despite the 90 something degree heat wave we're in the middle of. I will attempt to restate it now with the help of gin-laced grapefruit juice.

The number one reason, obviously, is money. I like to pretend that the Big reason is The Environment, but to be honest, if I had the money to run the AC, The Environment could suck it.

Of course, when one has no money to run the AC, Moral Superiority can be invoked to make a person feel better. When I am sweating my ass off and my kids lie around like reddened, drooping lettuce leaves, I tell myself that this is all a part of the acclimatization process. How will our bodies learn to deal with the temperature if we only expose ourselves to it when we have to? When we go from one air conditioned environment to another the heat and humidity is always a shock. By suffering now we are saving ourselves from later suffering. (Right. Like I ever plan ahead.)

This mindset allows me to look down my nose at all the people who are running their noisy resource-sucking central air conditioners because they are all a bunch of selfish pussies. Not that I a bit jealous of their plentiful personal resources or their higher educations that allow them to make exponentially more money than me. Not at all.

And the fact that I owe the electric company a staggering sum has not prevented me from running the window unit in the girls' room all night long. Because after a day of suffering in the heat, they are ecstatic to go to bed in an air conditioned bedroom. You never saw two kids so excited for bedtime.

And, material and bedtime concerns aside, sweating this much makes me feel healthy. I like being way too hot. I like to picture all the toxins leaving my system as I pound glass after glass of water and sweat like a demon. As a former bulimic (some would say "recovering", no matter how long it's been), I have always had a fondess for purges. This feels like a healthy, necessary purge. And it makes me wonder, if it makes me stink this badly on the outside, what the hell was it doing to my insides?

Comments

[JessPond]

LMAO Kateri!! :)

Sorry about the heat. Maybe it'll cool off sooner or later?

Heck, I don't know.

[AmericanFamily]

You really do have a point about the acclimation thing. When we spent a summer in Cambodia, the weather never ONCE went below 90 degrees and the humidity was about 90% every day. After two weeks of sweating and swollen hands and feet, our bodies just got used to it. We still felt a little hot, but we were not miserable by any means.