If I could, I'd invent a house cleaning device. duh. and damn it, the world needs
one because of messy people like me.
I sometimes buy organic produce and meat, because it is/they are more like the
me I want to be than the me that I am.
If you came over to my house to play and touched my monkey? no, I dont' think there is anything I couldn't forgive you for touching I'd be
a little bit mad at you forever.
The colour/s beige makes me want to shave my eyeballs with a
The colour/s purple, blue, I love intense colors is/are so beautiful that when I see them, a
beam of light comes down and I hear a choir sing.
Onion makes me gag, feel it in my mouth for a minute, and
then swallow it back down rather than spit it out (or else I just don't like
it, but I'm too nice to say it.)
I might get sick or die if I touch or ingest _______________, or look at
____________________. (this is where you mention allergies or phobias)
Neo-cons give me the willies and I might need to consider a
frontal lobotomy if I even think about it further.
I love the feel of velvet so much I want to hump it like a puppy on
a sofa pillow.
No one should have to watch me eat choooocolaaaate, because then I might
consider being polite enough to share, and I don't want to share it.
I'm a grown-up now, so I don't have to eat onions any
more, and you can't make me.
If I could invent a way to permanently coat my nostril hairs with this
scent, I'd be my own biggest customer: the smell of the air after a summer thunderstorm. Or cookies baking.
Three things I like that anyone might like: music. food. gift certificates.
Three things I like that nobody else in the world likes:
I have TOO MANY/TOO MUCH OF __________________________, and not enough
Okay, we know the best things in life aren't things, but these are the best
things in life if there are going to be best things: waking up warm on high thread count flannel sheets on a cold winter morning.
When people have kind, sweet and nice things about me, they're usually
talking about someone else. When they say I'm
oh so humble, they're usually right too.
It's true, I'm an avid nail-polisher, I'm learning to be
proud of it.
If I could have any talent in the world, I'd choose ________________ and use
it to _________________________.
You are given a day and a no-limit credit card to spend in one of these
places, childfree. Choose one, or write your own:
An auction, where you never know what you want until you see it, and then
you want it more than anyone. It's all about the adventure and the
A picturesque neon-lit bar, where a couple of swank cocktails and a friendly
bartender might lead to a Chandler-esque story. It's all about becoming a
A craft show, because you really need to find something attractive to cover
your spare rolls of toilet paper with, and then, you want to maybe glue some
paper to some more paper. It's all about making and doing.
A gourmet food store, because you are what you eat. It's all about feeding
yourself and your soul.
A hoity toity boutique, because you'd rather have the experience of shopping
gracefully than anything. It's all about quality time.
And here's the last chance to make sure that you're not going to get a
"Jelly of the Month" club membership when you're expecting your bonus for a
It is important to me that the items chosen for me
I'm not picky.
(Examples: respect my Wal-Mart boycott, are vegan, aren't made by child or
sweatshop labour, can be stuffed down my pants)
If I could suggest that you read only one post from my archives, this would
be it: this one.
If I were to name the Holiday of my choice for this exchange, it would be:
Christmas. I'd love to say Yule or Saturnalia, but let's face it, I'm a boring American. Christmas it is. (Please feel free to make one up - but this is
your chance to say "Um, I'm Jewish but that doesn't mean give me dreidels!"
or "More Santa decorations please - I only have thirty-seven now." or
"Winter and gifts yes; religious denominations, no - if only all cards could
be like those politically correct corporate holiday wishes!" if you want to.
Or, you know FESTIVUS!)