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Friday, November 18, 2005



Very well put -- excellent, Kateri. I forgot to comment the other day when you linked to your "first publication" that, like Running2Ks said, you *are* already a writer, you shouldn't doubt that.


Excellently put, as always.


I want to explain something that seems to come up so often. You asked another anon why the fake address and then (I assume) you were demonstrating that you can find where the post comes from with the IP address. In my case congratulations, you've narrowed me down to a tiny place and if you can pronounce it you get a star.

But why do I choose to be anonymous? First, I live my life keeping a certain level of privacy because I ran from an abuser and have no desire to be found. The chances of that occurring through a blog comment are slim, but I choose not to take them. Second, I don't want to ever pick up another abuser. Sure, you can use my IP address malevolently if you choose. But you are ONE person. Once I irritated someone on a mailing list and he harrassed me for months after I left the list. I don't want a blog comment to cause this sort of chaos as I just don't like hate mail. And you never know when what you say online will offend someone. Third, I do everything I can to avoid junk mail, from having bizarre email addresses to not giving my email address out anywhere. I just am annoyed by spam. Fourth, I cringe at someone knowing certain details of my life. I say what I want to say where I want to say it. I don't really want anyone to put it together. If I wanted to share my story in detail I would have a blog of my own. I don't, but I do sometimes want to say "this is my experience". I want there to be no chance that anyone who really knows me can somehow stumble upon parts of my life that I choose not to share. I live with something many people are very biased against and I just am not willing to be judged. By being anonymous I can discuss this and if I don't like the feedback I just don't read more comments.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone but me, but anyway, I see often bloggers ask or seem annoyed by anonymity, and I guess I'm just asking for respect for my reasons. They do exist and are not just cowardice. I guess I beleive that if someone really wants to discuss what I have said at any time they can either do so in the comments or they can ask me to email them, if they are willing to give their address, and I will set up an account to do so. My guess is this is true for lots of anons.


Hi Kateri - I didn't know that about working moms and LLL. My sister actually started a local support group for breastfeeding moms who work full time because there were no other full time working moms at her local meeting (in Seattle). I guess that explains why.

Just to comment on the anon thing...My reasoning for fake emails is similar to the last anon. I made what I thought was a pretty innocuous comment on a blog once (and really, if I told you what it was you would be shocked that it produced any controversy I promise) and left my real email address which was composed of my first and last name. Looking back I guess that was stupid but it seemed like a simple enough thing at the time. Well one of the bloggers commenters didn't like what I wrote and sent me a nasty email. I stupidly bit and sent a nasty email back. Big mistake. Well wouldn't you know the next day I got another nasty email but this time at my work email address. Anyone who googled my name at the time would have gotten my company website so it wasn't much of a stretch. I sent an email back saying please don't contact me here and proceeded to have this persons email address blocked by my IT department. Well harrasser really didn't like being blocked and long story short is that this commenter harrassed me for weeks by email (and I am pretty sure by phone but I can't proove that) until the original blogger convinced her to call it off after I threatened to file a police report. The whole thing scared me off commenting for a couple of years and when I did again it was always with an anon email. For me it isn't cowardly it is cautious. I considered just creating an email account for commenting but I decided I didn't even really want to do that. I know that the blogger can find my IP address and some identifying info and that doesn't bother me. I just don't want to open myself up to the whole rest of the internet cause there are soem scary people out there.

I should also point out that if there were a way to leave my real email for the blogger but not expose it to the commenters I would definitely do that. But generally the whole experience made me much more cautious about revealing anything about myself on the Internet. So anyway...I just had to add that becuase I know the anon email addresses offend a lot of people but some of us do have reasons and really mean no offense.

This may be my first comment here, I don't remember. Just wanted to say I really like your blog. You are a very talented writer.

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